You can always tell us, Minnesota Sports Fans. We are the people walking around stadiums and arenas, looking slightly dazed, waving a Homer Hanky and saying something about a missed Gary Anderson field goal. We are a sad but lovable group us Minnesota fans. We get excited about the upcoming season, knowing full well it will end in heartbreak and sorrow.

What drives us sad sacks to constantly put our teams on a pedestal, only to watch them crash every year, sometimes in very comedic, unpredictable ways. Is it the frigid temperatures that cause our brains to freeze up every winter? Or is it a mysterious virus that the onslaught of summer mosquitoes brings with them, leaving us listless and disappointed? I will try to explain what makes us Minnesota Sports Fans tick if I don’t become too depressed and have to quit writing altogether.

Minnesota Sports Fans Are Not Alone

First, let me clarify two points. Minnesota Sports Fans have cheered their teams on to championships in recent times. Our beloved Minnesota Lynx are four-time WNBA Champs, and this year, coach Cheryl Reeves once again had her team excelling at a very high level. Another example of recent success can be found at the University of Minnesota, where coach Brad Frost and his U of M Women’s Hockey teams have lit the lamp for four NCAA Championships.

And I never want to presuppose that we are the only long-suffering sports fans in this country. Red Sox fans had to endure 86 years of the “Curse of the Bambino” before bringing home a World Series Crown. As did Chicago Cubs fans, as the “Curse of the Billy Goat” subjected them to 108 tortuous years between World Series titles.

The Seattle Mariners are the only team in Major League Baseball (MLB) that has never made a trip to the Fall Classic. And let’s not forget the long-suffering New York Jets fans who year in and year out must root for one of the NFL’s worst teams.

Trying to Define the Agony of Minnesota Sports Fans

This weekend was a typical one for Minnesota Sports Fans. It started with a resounding 37-10 trouncing of the Minnesota Vikings by the San Diego Chargers on Thursday Night Football. The next night, the Minnesota Timberwolves had the opportunity to take on the LeBron-less Los Angeles Lakers. No matter. The Lakers ran them off the court in the fourth quarter, keying a 128-110 Los Angeles victory. And the Minnesota Gophers Football team forgot to show up on Saturday afternoon and were devastated by the Iowa Hawkeyes 41-3 in Iowa City.

And just for good measure, the Minnesota Wild were defeated on Saturday night at home by the Utah Mammoth 6-2. I check in with my wife, Mary Jo, a Green Bay Packers fan, every once in a while, and I pose this question to her. “Will the Vikings win the Super Bowl first, or will I die first?” And her consistent answer is, well, let me put it to you this way, neither I nor the Vikings come out on top in this scenario. And she purchased me one of my favorite t-shirts, which has the logo of the Vikings on it, and it simply says, “Just One Before I Die.”

Confession and Compassion

To be honest, I wrote this article because I was suffering from temporary writer’s block. The political environment that I often write about is so toxic and unforgiving that I need to step away from it to recharge and gain perspective. And it was such a dismal week for all of our hometown heroes that I could not bring myself to write about their dismal performances. This article serves as my form of catharsis.

So, if you spot a Minnesota Sports Fan wandering the street aimlessly, say hi and be kind to them. Just don’t mention Drew Pearson’s push off, the TWolves not drafting Steph. Curry, the Kevin Garnett trade, Jamie Quirk’s home run, or the recent purge of players by the Twins at the MLB Trade Deadline. It’s akin to waking a sleeping person who’s just had a nightmare.