So, turkey day is approaching quickly. You are a nervous, stressed-out wreck, trying to figure out what the hell you are going to serve. Of course, you have the traditional Thanksgiving bird you are about to prepare, but you can’t figure out what you are going to do to accommodate that damn nephew who refuses to try or eat anything.
Every family has that over-the-top, picky eater who makes everything difficult to prepare. Well, guess what? In my family, that’s me! Here is a guide for everyone, taking a day and a half to prepare the best feast of the year!
Thanksgiving Sides that are a Little Less Tradional
Ham
Let me begin with this: no matter how you cook the turkey, I will not enjoy it! For those like me, we still need meat! So, how about cooking a nice juicy ham? And I am not talking about that honey-baked crap either. Just a good ole giant slab of ham. It is a great alternative to the traditional “lunch meat” served on the last Thursday of November.
Meatballs
I know this may not be a traditional side at the Thanksgiving table, but it again gives a picky eater an option for the meat course. Some of us hate brown gravy, and I mean hate brown gravy. With the meatball side dish, you could soak them in chicken gravy, Swedish meatball gravy, or, if you want to express your Italian side, just talk with your hands and bust out the marinara.
Mac and Cheese
What little kid doesn’t love mac and cheese? Your picky eater may not be a child, but we all know they tend to act like children when it comes to food. I am not putting anyone down because I am included in this exclusive group! It can be as simple as a Velveeta or Kraft, or as fancy as an oven-baked fancy Thanksgiving side.
Corn
Look, I get it, and I may have lost some of you with this mention. I understand corn is simple and provides no nutritional value, but I’ll be damned that it’s not a tasty vegetable. It’s easy to make and should be on everyone’s table for their feast.
Apple Pie
Don’t get mad at me, but pumpkin pie is gross, and I refuse to apologize for it. What is more American than apple pie minus baseball? The answer is nothing! Give us picky eaters a second choice with dessert. We may not fill up on the limited dinner options, so we will be looking forward to the next course. Keep an open mind, even when it comes to the treats at the end, for all of us who either refuse to try new things or the ones who just know what we like!
Final Thoughts
Thanksgiving is a great day of the year, filled with the four F’s: friends, family, food, and football. There may be a fifth, which is the four-letter word, but only if you burn yourself cooking, your football team gets destroyed (which Lions fans are used to), or if a family member gets out of hand! If I can represent all the picky eaters out there, we appreciate the accommodations and the willingness to step away from some traditional Thanksgiving foods.
A message for the pickiest of the pickiest. If the person hosting or the cook has tried to include your ridiculous food requests, and you are still not satisfied, well, enjoy that leftover pizza from the fridge. We all know that the day before Thanksgiving is the biggest carryout pizza day of the year, so make sure Uncle Frank saved you a slice, “You little jerk!”
